SELF-OBSERVATION & THE DISSOLUTION OF I’S
extracts from the book ''Treatise of Revolutionary Psychology' by SAmael Aun Weor'
Observation & self-obsevation
To observe and to self-observe oneself are two completely different things; however, both demand attention.
When we observe through the windows of the senses, our attention then is directed outwardly towards the external word.
Yet, in self-observation, the senses of external perception are worthless, because attention is directed inward. Consequently, this is the factual reason why the self-observation of inner psychological processes is difficult for the neophyte
Observation is a way to modify the mechanical conditions of the world. Yet, internal self-observation is a way to intimately change.
The type of knowledge that transforms someone internally can never be achieved through external observation.
The true knowledge that can really originate in us a fundamental, internal change has as its basis direct self- observation of oneself.
The outer world & the inner world
We find ourselves then before two worlds, the external and the internal.
The first, the external, is perceived by the senses of external perception. The second, the internal, can only be perceived through the sense of internal self-observation.
Thoughts, ideas, emotions, longings, hopes, disappointments, etc., are internal, invisible to the ordinary; common and current senses. Yet, they are more real to us than the dining table or the living room couch.
Indeed, we live in our internal world more than in our external world. This is irrefutable, indisputable.
In our internal worlds, in our secret world, we love, desire, suspect bless, curse, yearn, suffer, enjoy, we are disappointed rewarded, etc.
Unquestionably the two worlds, internal and external, are experimentally verifiable. The external world is the observable. The internal world is in itself and inside oneself the selfobservable, here and now.
The more we explore this internal world called “myself,” the more we will comprehend that we simultaneously live in two worlds, in two realities, in two confines: the external and the internal.
In the same way that it is indispensable for one to learn how to walk in the external world so as not to fall down into a precipice or not get lost in the streets of the city or to select one’s friends or not associate with the perverse ones or not eat poison, etc.; likewise, through the psychological work upon oneself we learn how to walk in the internal world, which is explorable only through self-observation.
Certainly, we can never know ourselves without serious and profound self-observation.
When dealing with the discovery of wrong psychological states, a complete intimate self-observation of the Myself is unavoidable.
If one truly wants to know oneself, one must then begin by observing his own conduct while facing the events of any day of his life.
We do not want to imply by this that one must not observe oneself daily. We only state that self-observation begins with the first day that one starts observing oneself.
There must be a beginning in everything; thus, to start by observing our conduct in any given day of our life is a good beginning.
A single moment in which one is sufficiently conscious as to stop being a machine, if it is done with will, tends to radically modify many disagreeable circumstances.
Unfortunately, we live daily a mechanical, routine and absurd life. We repeat
occurrences; our habits are the same; we never want to modify them. They are the mechanical tracks on which circulates the train of our miserable existence. Nevertheless, we think the best of ourselves.
The illusion of doing
Indeed, we have the illusion of doing; yet, we do nothing. Things happen to us. This is fatal, mechanical...
Our personality is merely the instrument of different people, “I’s.” Each one of those persons (“I’s”) fulfills its commitments through the personality.
Many things happen underneath our cognitive capacity. Unfortunately, we ignore what happens underneath our wretched reasoning.
We believe that we are wise when, indeed, we do not even know that we do not know.
Self-observation & the many I’s
Indeed, when one wants to know oneself, one must observe himself and try to know the different “I’s” which abound inside the personality.
If any one of our readers does not yet comprehend the doctrine of the many “I’s” it is due exclusively to the lack of practice in the field of self observation.
|Medusa symbolises the many I's|
As one practices inner self observation, one discovers for oneself many people, many “I’s” who live inside our own personality.
Those who deny the doctrine of the many “I’s” those who adore a divine “I” have
undoubtedly never observed themselves seriously.
Pointing at them, this time in a Socratic style, we state that those people not only ignore, but more over, they ignore that they ignore.
Those who reject the Doctrine of the Many “I’s” are clearly demonstrating that they have never observed themselves seriously.
The severe observation of the “myself” without subterfuges of any type, permits us to verify by ourselves the crude reality that we are not “one” but “many.”
Unquestionably, the illusion that one is always one and the same person serves as a hidden obstacle for self observation...
Whosoever accepts the Doctrine of the Many “I” based on self-observation, comprehends that every desire, thought, action, passion, etc., corresponds to this or that “I” meaning, to a distinct or different “I”.
The observer & the observed
Whosoever works very seriously on himself, as any athlete of inner Self-Observation, exerts upon himself the effort to separate from his psyche the diverse undesirable elements which he carries within...
Thus, if one truly and very sincerely begins to observe oneself internally, one ends up dividing himself in two: the Observer and the Observed.
If such a division is not produced, it is then evident that we would never take a step forward in the marvelous Pathway of Self Knowledge.
How can we observe ourselves if we commit the error of not wanting to divide ourselves into Observer and the Observed?
It is clear that only through inner self-observation shall we be able to see the people (I’s) who live in our psyche and who we need to eliminate in order to achieve a radical transformation.
This perception, this self-observation, fundamentally alters all the mistaken concepts that we had regarding ourselves; thus, as an outcome, we witness the concrete fact that we do not possess true individuality.
Therefore, as long as we do not observe ourselves, we will then live in the illusion that we are “one” and consequently our life will be a mistake.
Any internal change demands the previous elimination of the “I’s” that we carry within. We cannot by any means, eliminate such “I’s” if we do not internally observe them.
In the work on oneself there does not exist anything worthless. Any thought, however insignificant it might be deserves to be observed. Any negative emotion, reaction, etc. must be observed.
Internal self-observation is a practical means to achieve a radical transformation.
Differentiation of Knowing & observing
To know and to observe are different. Many confuse the observation of oneself with knowing. For example, even though we know that we are seated in a living room, this, however, does not signify that we are observing the chair.
We know that at a given moment we are in a negative state, perhaps with a problem, worried about this or that matter, or in a state of distress or uncertainty, etc. This, however, does not mean that we are observing the negative state.
Do you feel antipathy towards someone?
Do you dislike a certain person? Why?
You may say that you know that person... Please observe that person; to know is not the same as to observe! Do not confuse knowing with observing...
The observation of oneself, which is one hundred percent active, is a way to change oneself. However, knowing, which is passive, is not a way to change oneself.
Indeed, knowing is not an act of attention. Yet, the attention directed into oneself,
towards what is happening in our interior, is something positive, active...
For instance, we may feel antipathy towards a person, just because we feel like it and many times for no particular reason. If we observe ourselves in such a moment we will notice the multitude of thoughts that accumulate in our mind.
We will also notice the group of voices that speak and scream in a disorderly manner and that say many things within our mind, as well as the unpleasant emotions that surge in our interior and the unpleasant taste that all this leaves in our psyche, etc.
But, unquestionably, in order to see all of this, we need attention intentionally directed towards the interior of our own selves. This is not a passive attention.
Indeed, dynamic attention proceeds from the side of the observer, while thoughts and emotions belong to the side, which is observed.
All of this causes us to comprehend that knowing is something completely passive and mechanical, in evident contrast with the observation of the self which is a conscious act.
Differentiation of thinking & observing
To think and to observe are also very different. Any person can give himself the luxury of thinking about himself all he wants; yet, this does not signify that he is truly observing himself.
We need to see the different “I’s” in action, to discover them in our psyche, to
comprehend that a percentage of our own consciousness exists within each one of them, to repent of having created them, etc.
Then we shall exclaim: “But what is this “I” doing?” “Is it saying?” “What does it want?” “Why does it torment me with its lust, with its anger?” etc.
Then we will see within ourselves the entire train of thoughts, emotions, desires,
passions, private comedies, personal dramas, elaborated lies, discourses, excuses, morbidities, beds of pleasure, scenes of lasciviousness, etc.
Many times before falling asleep, at the precise instant of transition between vigil and sleep, we feel within our own mind different voices that talk to each other. Those are the different “I’s” that must in such moments break all connection with the different centers of our organic machine, so as to then submerge themselves in the molecular world within the Fifth Dimension.
Obviously, all self-observation allows light to penetrate into ourselves within our inner depths.
No interior change can occur in our psyche unless we allow the light of self-observation to penetrate.
Self-observation circumstances of life
It is indispensable to observe oneself when alone in the same manner as when associated with people.
Very different “I’s,” very different thoughts, negative emotions, etc. present themselves when one is alone.
One is not always in good company when alone. It is just normal, very natural to be very badly accompanied when in complete solitude. The most negative and dangerous “I’s” present themselves when one is alone.
The worst circumstances of life, the most critical situations, and the most difficult deeds are always marvelous for intimate self-discovery.
The most secret “I’s” always surface in those unsuspected, critical moments, and when we least expect them. Unquestionably, if we are alert, we discover ourselves.
The most tranquil moments of life are precisely the least favorable for the work upon oneself.
Moments in life exist which are too complicated. In those moments we have the marked tendency of identify easily with the events and completely forgetting about ourselves. In those instances, we do foolish things, which lead nowhere. If, in those moments, we are alert, if instead of losing our minds we remember our own selves, we then would discover with astonishment certain “I’s” whose possibility of existence we never suspected in the least.
Self-observation & self-discovery
The sense of intimate self-observation is atrophied in every human being. Yet, such a sense will develop in a progressive manner by working seriously, by observing oneself from moment to moment.
Thus, as the sense of self-observation gradually develops through its continuous use, we shall become more capable each time of directly perceiving those “ whose existence we previously never had the least bit of data about.
Indeed, while in the sight of the sense of inner self- observation, each of those “I’s which inhabit our interior assume this or that figure. This figure is secretly related to the defect that is personified within it. Undoubtedly, the image of each of those “I’s has a certain unmistakable psychological flavor. We, through this image, instinctively apprehend, capture, trap its inner nature, and the defect, which characterizes it.
The development of self-observation
Indeed, the sense of self-observation is atrophied in this decadent human race of this tenebrous era in which we live.
As we persevere in self-observation, the sense of intimate self-observation will
As the sense of intimate self-observation develops in us, through its continuous use we can see all those “I that serve as a basic foundation to our individual temperament, whether it be sanguine or nervous, phlegmatic or bilious.
Although you may not believe it, dear reader the fact is that behind the temperament that we possess, the most remote profundities of our psyche, the most abominable diabolic creations are hidden.
To see such creations, to observe these monstrosities of hell within which our very same consciousness is imprisoned, is only possible with the ever progressive development of the sense of intimate self-observation.
The sense of intimate self-observation allows us to verify for ourselves, and in a direct manner, the secret work by which in a given time we are dissolving this or that “I” (this or that psychological defect), possibly discovered in difficult conditions and when we least suspect it.
Have you, sometime in your life, ever thought of what you like or dislike the most? Have you reflected on the secret causes of action?
Why do you want to have a beautiful house?
Why do you desire the latest model car?
Why do you want to always be wearing the latest fashion?
Why do you covet not being covetous?
What offended you the most in a given moment?
What flattered you the most yesterday?
Why do you feel superior to this or that fellow in a specific moment?
At what hour did you feel superior to someone?
Why do you feel conceited when you relate your triumphs?
Could not you keep quiet when they gossiped about someone you know?
Did you receive the goblet of liquor out of courtesy?
Did you accept smoking, although not having the vice, possibly because of the concept of education or out of manliness?
Are you sure that you were sincere in your chatter?
And when you justify yourself, when you praise yourself, when you boast about your triumphs and do so repeating what you have previously told others, do you comprehend that you are vain?
Self-observation allows us to see our progress too
The sense of intimate self-observation, in addition to allowing you to see clearly the “I” that you are dissolving, will also allow you to see the pathetic and defined results of your internal Work.
In the beginning, these creations of hell, these psychic aberrations that unfortunately characterize you, are more ugly and monstrous than the most horrendous beasts that exist at the bottom of the oceans or in the most profound jungles of the earth. Yet, as you advance in your work, you will be able to evince through the sense of internal self-observation the outstanding fact that those abominations lose bulk; they grow smaller.
It is intriguing to know that such bestialities, as they decrease in size, as they lose bulk and become smaller, they gain in beauty; they slowly assume a childlike figure. Finally, they disintegrate; they become a cloud of cosmic dust. Then the imprisoned Essence is liberated; it is emancipated; it awakens.
The dissolution of ego
Undoubtedly, the mind cannot fundamentally alter any psychological defect.
Obviously the intellect can give itself the luxury of naming a defect with this or that name, of justifying it, or passing it from one level to another, etc. But it could not by itself annihilate it, disintegrate it.
We urgently need a flaming power superior to the mind, a power that by itself is capable of reducing this or that psychological defect to a mere cloud o cosmic dust.
Fortunately there exists in us that marvelous fire that the ancient medieval alchemists baptized with the mysterious name of Stella Mans, the Virgin of the Sea, the Azoth of the Science of Hermes, Tonantzin of Aztec Mexico, that derivative from our own intimate Being, God-Mother within our interior, who is always symbolized with the sacred serpent of the Great Mysteries.
If after having observed and profoundly comprehended this or that psychological defect (this or that “I”), we beg our individual cosmic Mother, since each of us has his own, to disintegrate, to reduce to a cloud of cosmic dust this or that defect, that is, the “I,” the motive of our interior work.
Then you can be sure that it will lose mass and it will be slowly pulverized.
All of this naturally implies successive deep works, always continuous, since no “I can ever be disintegrated instantly. The sense of intimate self-observation will be able to see the progressive advance of the work in relation with the abomination whose disintegration truly interests us.
Our own derivative-Being, Tonantzin, Stella Mans, as an electric power, is unknown to the entire humanity. Yet, she abides latent in the depth of our psyche. Ostensibly, she enjoys the power that permits her to decapitate any “I” before its final disintegration.
Stella Maris is that philosophical fire that is found latent in all organic and inorganic matter.
Psychological impulses can provoke the intensive action of such a fire and thendecapitation is made possible.
Some “I’s are usually decapitated at the beginning of the psychological Work, others in the middle and the last ones at the end. Stella Mans, as a sexual igneous power has full consciousness of the work that must be performed. She performs the decapitation at the opportune moment, at the appropriate instant.
As long as the disintegration of all these psychological abominations, of all thislasciviousness, of all these curses: robbery, envy, secret or manifest adultery ambition for money or psychic powers, etc. has not been produced, even when we think ourselves honorable persons, true to our word, sincere, courteous, charitable, beautiful in our interior, etc., obviously, we are nothing more than whitened sepulchers, beautiful from outside, yet full of disgusting filthiness inside.
Obviously, as long as one does not work intensely on those “I that we carry within our interior, they will continue to exist beneath the depth of our godly appearance and our upright conduct.
Peace , Love, Harmony