Nonattachment is dispassion or indifference to sensual enjoyments.
Fear exists on account of attachment and desire.
Attachment is indicative of the feeling that the objective possession brings happiness.
Attachment is the impure vasana (feeling) of love or hate that is entertained by the mind for the diverse objects of this world.
Never say 'my body', 'my wife', 'my son', 'my house'. Attachment is the root cause for the miseries and sufferings of this world. Discipline the mind carefully. The old habits will creep in destroy them at the very root.
Lead the life of mental nonattachment. This is the master-key to open the realm of Brahmic bliss. Nonattachment is dispassion or indifference to sensual enjoyments.
~ Swami Sivananda /////////////////////
Desire
and attachment
Desire
and attachment go together, they are facets of the same coin called ego.
Attachment
and desire are interrelated. We cannot become attached to something we do not
desire and we cannot desire something to which our mind is not attached.
Desire
Desire
has as its basis the lack of something, the needs, liking and pleasure. We
desire what we lack, what we need and what we like, what gives us pleasure, or
what we believe or imagine we need, lack, etc..
Desire
is the impulse that compels us to think and find ways and act to get what we
lack, need or like. Most of these things are related to pleasures, happiness,
security, power, money, fame, being worthy of oneself, being loved, being
accepted, being special and being recognized.
Types of desire
·
Rajasotamasic desires. Desires
for pleasures (sex, food, drinks sense pleasures), worldly desires for money,
success, possessions, fame and name.
·
Sattvic desires. Desire
for knowledge, happiness, sattvic foods, art and activities, for peace,
creativity, beauty, harmony, loving and helping others, uniting and cooperating
with others
· Desire (intense
longing) for liberation and God-realization
The
rajasotamasic desires are related with carnal pleasures, selfishness, pride,
arrogance, avarice, greed, antagonism, rivalry and see others as a means or
obstacle of their realization. Are based on separation, lack, need, unsatisfaction,
discontentment, fear, greed, attachment, sensuality, low self-esteem, low
self-value. The rajasotamasic desires maintain people attached and identified
to their lower aspects of their existence (instinctive, lower vital-mental[intellectual)
and to the lower aspects of material experiences. Rajasotamasic desires are
the base of egoistic tendencies known as defects, passions and negative
emotions.
A man has
a thousand and one desires. But the central strong desire is the sexual desire.
The fundamental desire is the urge for a mate. All hang on this central basic
desire. The desire for money, the desire for a son, the desire for property,
the desire for houses, the desire for cattle and other desires come later on.
~
Swami Sivananda
The sattvic
desires are related to harmony, joy, happiness, beauty, creativity, love,
unity, sharing, inclusiveness, well-being, health and prosperity of all, inner
transformation and development. The sattvic desires are mostly related to the
higher aspects of our existence and when related to the instincts then are
ingrained by the sattvic qualities and thus they are transformed in sattvic
experiences.
For,
example desire for sex when is of rajasotamasic nature then sex is made in a brutal,
passionate, animalistic or perverted way and has an attitude of taking of
others, of using others for our own satisfaction, and when we give to them
something we do it only for receiving back something. While when is of sattvic
nature then sex is made in love, caring, sharing, giving and in a higher state
as means of meditation, self-transformation and development and offering to God.
However,
attachment to sattva is also an impediment for Self-realization and transcend
bodily existence. In addition, when we don’t aspire for Self-realization rajas
and tamas easily enter in our mind and thus we cannot converse the mind
completely sattvic. Hence, we have to suffer from the rajasotamasic qualities
which will continue coexist along with the sattvic ones.
Since
desire is very powerful, we can get rid of rajasotamasic desires through
sattvic desires and with a gradual development of desire for liberation or
God-realization and finally get rid of sattvic desires with a very intense
desire for liberation.
ASPECTS
OF ATTACHMENT
The root of attachment is ignorance of our true Self and identification
and attachment to the body which has as a main cause desire for sexual pleasure.
From ignorance and identification with the body originate all other causes
which are the lower rajasotamasic ego and the presence of rajas and tamas gunas
in the mind, lack of discernment, insecurity, sense of lack, low self-esteem and
self-confidence and not feeling worthy or valuable, fear of being alone, desiring
pleasure, fame, power, recognition, comforts and happiness, love and security
from outside.
Components
of attachment
Attachment consists of various components such as ignorance, interest, importance, liking, craving, a sense of lack, passion, desire, need, identification, and dependence. It also involves false beliefs about the nature of life and things.
To be attached to something means that we think or believe that we cannot
do without it, that life has not meaning without it, that we want to experience
something again and again (sex, smoke, drink, etc.) and suffer when for some
reason we cannot have it or we lose it if already possess it, when we cannot
experience it or even when thinking or imagining about not to get it or not
experiencing it or to lose it.
Although
attachment, consists of various components they can be classified in two main aspects.
First
aspect
In
this respect, attachment means that our mind and heart are attracted to
something and that our mind is occupied with thoughts about it, and this
includes identification and imagination.
Our
ego looks to the external world for pleasure, happiness, satisfaction,
security, prestige, etc. and because of this our mind becomes attached to
thoughts related to these objects (persons or anything else). Thinking about them along with our imagination
and our belief that they will give us what we want, desire, need, causes us to
want to acquire them.
Second
aspect
In
this aspect we are attached to what we possess (house, car, clothes, pen, phone...),
to what we are identified with (e.g. the body, position, job…), to what we
relate which also implies identification (parents, children, friend, partner,
religion, etc.), to what we lack and need to have (or we imagine we lack or
need) and what we want (desire) which are related to pleasure, happiness,
security, value, prestige, recognition, fame, power, being appreciated, not
being alone.
identification
is included in all cases mentioned above, although in some of them is
predominant as for example identification with body
Attachment
implies an emotional bond with the object of attachment and also dependence on
it. That is why attachment is the cause of fear of changing or losing something
to which we are attached, as well as anger against the cause of not getting or
losing the object of attachment, as well as disappointment, depression, grief,
despair of not getting or losing the object of attachment.
In short attachment or being attached consists of:
- · Clinging
and identifying with something (psychological or external)
- ·
Hold on something and that occupies our
attention, thoughts, emotions behavior
- ·
Emotional bond and dependency on something
- ·
Desire to have it, maintain it, not to lose, to
experience it again and again
- ·
Being afraid of do not having it, losing it, or
will abandon us,
- · Believing
or imagining that we cannot live without it (strong attachment)
·
Attachment is also related to My-ness (this
or that is mine); we attach to the objects we are identified with and are
part of our identity (body, spouse, house, country, nationality, etc.).
·
Attachment related to pleasures results to
addiction (sex, food, drinks, smoke, drugs, etc.)
NON-ATTACHMENT
Non attachment is related:
- ·
To the ability to take a healthy psychological
distance and not identify with thoughts, emotions, impulse, desires, beliefs
and external things (objects, persons, entities, organizations, situations,
experiences),
- ·
To not take or treat our thoughts as reality,
not believing in them to be the truth,
- ·
To not being interested, not clinging, not
identifying and letting go, of the thoughts and emotions (related to
objects, persons, situations, beliefs, opinions)
- ·
To the capacity of letting go an impulse or desire,
- ·
To the capacity of not letting them control or
affect our mind and heart,
- ·
To the indifference for pleasures and pleasant
experiences, fame, power, money, recognition, prestige,
- · To
not needing something from the exterior to feel secure, worthy, special, and
experience happiness, plenitude and love.
- ·
To not relying or depending and considering pleasures
and pleasant experiences, fame, power, money, prestige, recognition, approval,
acceptance, etc. as necessary to live in peace, happiness, love, contentment
and fulfilment.
- · To
not needing acceptance, evaluation approval, appreciation, recognition, rewards
to feel worthy or valuable and not depending on external things for security,
worthiness, happiness, love, freedom, fulfilment. Power.
- · To
not wanting to experience something over and over again (sex, smoke, drink,
etc.) and to stop compulsively thinking and imagining about them over and over
again.
Some of these aspects are also
related to the nature of dispassion.
Once we can stop being so attached to our thoughts, emotions and impulses,
we experience a quietude, inner peace and a sense of joyful well-being.
Non-attachment and actions
Non-attachment is also being engaged in actions without being attached to
the action itself and without expectations or the attachment to particular
outcomes. This can be achieved by dedicating action and results to God or life,
by being indifferent to pleasure, recognition, or whatever ego wants from the
world.
When we begin to flow with life as it unfolds (which also implies
surrender to life and acceptance) without attachment to experiences, people,
objects, actions and their results and to our thoughts, beliefs, opinions and
emotions, then detachment has reached a high degree.
Non-attachment goes hand in hand with dispassion and, of course, with the
calmness of mind and heart and the firm and deep Self-awareness (consciously
resting in the silent peace of inner Consciousness) that allows us to live
fully, in love, peace, freedom, fullness and beauty without dependence and
identification with people, things, thoughts and emotions. Non-attachment and
detachment are fully developed when the ego is completely uprooted and we
identify completely with Consciousness. This is the state of self-realization
in which we effortlessly and uninterruptedly experience the peace, freedom and
bliss of our divine essence.
Thus, non-attachment, at the deepest level, has to do with the return to
our essence or our true Self, through the dissolution of the limitations of our
mind and its independence from external things, persons and situations.
Healthy and Unhealthy Non-attachment
Some distinguish Non attachment from Detachment. I consider these terms as
equal, nevertheless, I classify them to healthy conscious detachment or Non
attachment and the unhealthy detachment or the detachment mechanism to cope
with painful emotions.
Unhealthy Non-attachment or Detachment
Detachment or non-attachment is not being disconnected from our emotions,
being emotionally cold or not feeling anything (e.g., feel absolutely
nothing, when your true love dies), not being empathetic, not being
affectionate or not caring about others. Insensitiveness is a characteristic of
a tamasic mind or can happen because of unconscious repression or suppression.
Detachment is not stopping feeling our emotions by forcibly repressing
emotions for fear of experiencing painful emotions or feeling unworthy and
dirty when some negative thoughts, desire or emotion arises in us, or by an
unconscious repression of emotions as a defence mechanism that protects us from
feeling emotions that are too painful and hurtful.
Healthy Non-attachment or Detachment
Detachment and thoughts
To detach from thoughts is to take a step back, to stop identifying with
them or getting lost in them and to observe them consciously. To detach from
emotions is to step back and remain a silent witness without getting involved
in them.
In reality, when we pay full attention to thoughts or when we withdraw
our attention and focus it on the silence beyond thoughts, then the flow of
thoughts stops. However, when thoughts are emotionally charged it is difficult
to detach (stop identifying) from thoughts or to stop the flow of thoughts,
because emotions want to express themselves strongly and for that they need to
use thoughts and imagination.
Detachment means not identifying with thoughts, not being interested in thoughts
and their context, not being seduced by thoughts, not taking them as true, as a
reality or as real.
Detachment and emotions
To detach from emotions is to step back and consciously observe them
without completely identifying with them. To observe does not mean to
disconnect from them, but to feel them attentively without identifying and
losing oneself in them, and with the intention of becoming familiar with them
and knowing them fully. To detach oneself from emotions is to take a step back
and remain a silent witness without getting involved in them.
Detachment means not to identify with emotions, not to be interested in
emotions, not to be seduced by emotions, not to take them as ourselves, as a
reality.
Detachment and sensory objects
To detach ourselves from objects and sensory experiences we must be
attentive and remain aware of the inner silence. Furthermore, we should be
careful not to allow our attention to be totally diverted to the outside and
lose contact with the inner silence and be watchful of the mind to prevent it
from thinking uncontrollably about them. Because through thinking, attachment
and desire are strengthened and the inner Self is forgotten.
Detachment means not identifying with objects and sensory experiences,
not being interested in them, not being seduced by them, not considering them
important and necessary for our happiness, fulfilment and well-being.
Detachment and pleasures (sex, food, drinks, smoke, gambling, etc.)
HOW STOP BEING ATTACHED
How to Stop Being Attached to
Thoughts, beliefs, opinions, emotions, Feelings, People, and Circumstances
- Stop being important or being interesting to you
all of them
- Stop considering pleasures, relations and money,
fame power, recognition more important than peace, freedom, love and truth
- Stop depending and looking for
happiness, security, love, fulfilment on things alien to ourselves
- Practice allowing and letting go
and giving what you are attached to.
- Acceptance and surrender
- Let go of the “shoulds” and “musts
- Make friends with uncertainty
- Learn to observe our thoughts and
feelings
- Develop self and Self-awareness
Connect with Atman
- Increasing sattva by sattvic
living, sattvic relations and spiritual practices.
- Eliminating egoic tendnecies
- Inquiry
Dispassion and Detachment
Dispassion
Dispassion is a means to maintain ataraxia,
equanimity and serenity of mind and heart. Dispassion
means to remain indifferent to sensory objects and not
reacting emotionally and mentally to what is happening. When seeing
pleasant objects not to be attracted to them and not to desire them, and when
seeing unpleasant things not to react with aversion and thus to remain in
ataraxia, equanimity and serenity.
Dispassion is achieved through purity of mind and heart,
the predominance of the sattva quality, great weakening or eradication of egoic
tendencies (lust, greed, pride, jealousy, gluttony, anger, hatred, guilt,
etc.), discrimination, non-attachment, indifference or not desiring sense
objects and experiences, devotion and surrender to the Atman, Truth or
God.
Because of dispassion, our mind is not interested in sensory
objects and experiences, does not think and plan on how to achieve this or
that, or how to experience pleasure, satisfaction, happiness, security,
superiority, etc., does not react to sensory impressions and does not identify
with them. Hence, remains equanimous, serene, introverted, clear, one-pointed
and steadily focused in the peaceful silence of Consciousness within us.
Detachment
Depending on one's definition of the terms detachment and
dispassion and one's view of them, some consider them to be equal. For me, in
my experience and understanding, detachment and dispassion share certain common
elements, but they are still a bit different.
That is to say, detachment means primarily not
identifying with and not fully engaging with sensory impressions and
experiences and not identifying with and not engaging with vital, mental and
emotional expressions and processes, ςwhich implies diminishing emotional dependence and bond towards them. To the extent that we have developed
detachment, we are able to remain aware of inner silence and attentively
observe sensory impressions and psychological expressions without identifying
with them and keep our mind calm, unanimous, serene and attentive.
Detachment, like dispassion, helps us to avoid
identification with sense objects and happenings and reacting to them and, when
there is a reaction, to avoid identification with psychological reactions
(thoughts, emotions, impulses and everything that manifests in our psychology)
and to remain a silent witness to them.
