Om! The tree of ego ~ Atman Nityananda

The tree of ego

Desire, Iness and Mineness

The ego is like a tree which has as trunk the desire and as branches the innumerable modifications of desire. Desire, Iness and Mineness are the three main aspects of ego which multiplies constantly and becomes more and more complicated life after life.

What is desire?

It is a compulsive wanting; it is wanting something external to us that can give us pleasure, pleasant sensations, satisfaction as well as the pleasure to be superior or special and recognized.

We want also to experience happiness, love, unity, and freedom but these don't proceed from ego and the desire mechanism but from our Soul. Although these are aspirations come from our Soul due to our delusion which is created by the egoic energies we may think that we as ego have these aspirations.

The main modifications of desire?

Gluttony, lasciviousness, jealousy, greed, avarice, Like-dislike, attachment, impatience, agony, uneasiness, anxiety, discontentment, something is missing, boredom, anger, fear, depression.

Gluttony, is wanting (desiring) food pleasure but also any substance we can taste in our palate.

Lasciviousness, is wanting sex pleasure.

Avarice, is wanting money.

Greed, is wanting more and more. It applies to all; more food-pleasure, more sex-pleasure, more money, possessions, success, etc.

Jealousy: Desire modifies as jealousy due to the fact that others have what we desire. If we desire money, we are jealous of those who have a lot of money, if we desire a partner, we are jealous of those who have a partner and especially who have a partner like the one we imagine that we want, if we desire fame or recognition, then we are jealous of famous people etc....

There is a special kind of jealousy, that among couples, which is mainly related with sexual pleasure. Passion for sexual pleasure makes the mind very egoistic and dominated. This mind wants intensively the object (partner) that gives it pleasure and even the idea to lose its object it makes it mad and jealous. He wants to secure by any mean (not to lose) the object that gives it pleasure. Insecurity and low esteem can also be related with this situation.

Attachment: Desire becomes attachment of the object of desire. The mind naturally is attached to what gives it pleasure and satisfaction. It is painful to us even the idea to lose the object that satisfies some of our desire or 'need'.

Impatience: Desire modifies as impatience because wants to experience the expected pleasure or get the desired object (money, success, win...) as soon as possible. The time between the arousal of desire until its fulfillment, it appears to us usually long.

Agony, uneasiness, anxiety (these 3 are mild expressions of fear) and fear. Desire modifies as uneasiness, anxiety and fear because of the possibility not to get what we desire or to lose the desired object that we already possess.

Anger: Desire modifies as anger when something or someone impedes us to get what we want or when something or someone may cause lose what we already possessed.

Depression: Desire modifies as depression, disappointment and similar emotions arise when we finally lose or not get the desired object.

Discontentment, boredom, uneasiness, something is missing: Desire modifies in the above unpleasant emotions in order to make us suffer because when we experience these painful emotions, the desire will easily drive us to pleasurable experience in order to overcome these painful emotions (I call this Pressure mechanism of desire)*. Nobody likes to remain much time in a negative emotional state. Thus desire first assumes these painful form and then easily compels us to find a pleasurable experience in order to overcome these emotions; the most frequent objects are pleasure through mouth and genitals.

Like-dislike: Desire modifies also as like in relation with the objects that give us pleasure or we imagine will give us pleasure and dislike for those that give us unpleasant sensations or pain.

Like and dislike as well as all the above mentioned emotional modifications of desire (anger, fear, depression, disappointment etc.) are related also with our self-image and the desire for superiority, specialty and recognition (pride). We like those who enhance our self-image or make us feel special, important etc. and we dislike those who reject us, or our ideas, opinions, etc and makes us feel 'small'. We like those who help us meet our desires and we dislike those who are obstacles.

The desires as well as all the emotions and egoistic tendencies manifest in us with a particular intensity and frequency like the waves of the ocean. Usually in each one there are some desires and emotions that are stronger and prevail in the everyday life. Some persons are occupied by one or two particular desires, some egoic tendency or emotion which becomes their leitmotiv of their daily life.

All compulsive mechanical thoughts that constantly occur in our mind are due to the impulse of desire (which by nature is insatiable) and its emotional modifications.

The desire, the thoughts and emotions function in a vicious circle and the one empowers the other. This desire-made emotional thinking subsides for a while, only when we are enjoying the object of desire. When we are in contact with the object of desire we become one with it and the sense of separation with the object of desire, the agony, anxiety, fear, impatience etc. subside totally and thus we experience a great relief together with a pleasant and the illusory pleasure projected** on the object.

NOTE:

Pressure mechanism of desire*: The other two mechanisms of desire are the replacement and extension mechanisms.

Replacement happens when we cannot gratify a desire. In this case we substitute the object of desire with another one. For example, when we desire sex pleasure and we cannot have it, then we may replace the sexual pleasure with food pleasure.

Extension means that we continue to have pleasure by another object after having experienced pleasure. For example, after drink pleasure we continue with sexual pleasure and then with food pleasure and so on.

The desire functions through association, identification, projection, imagination

Projected**: I have explained in other essay that there is not an iota of pleasure in the objects. The pleasure we experience is projected by our ego on the object. This pleasure we experience is crystallized sexual pleasure in our subtle body. This crystallized sexual energy takes the form of lust, desire, passion and pleasure.

Happiness also has nothing to do with objects. When we are in contact with the desired-object, then the impulse of desire with all emotions that accompany the desire, (agony, anxiety, fear, impatience etc.) subside totally and the mind becomes calm and introverted. In this state, the mind reflects a part of the happiness of our essence or Soul. Happiness is the nature of our Soul, but this happiness can be experienced when the mind is tranquil, and introverted. This happens in two cases. Temporarily when we are in contact with the object of our desire and when consciously and voluntary by meditation or other practice we manage to still the mind and focus it in its source the Soul or consciousness.

MORE TEXTS ABOUT DESIRE:

THE MOVEMENT OF DESIRE - Atman Nityananda

Jan 26, 2016 ... When the impulse of desire arises in us, arises together with thoughts, imagination and emotion. The desire through the imagination creates a ...