In short, our misery and suffering are due to the following factors.
- Identification and attachment to the body, mind and sense objects.
- Desire and attachment to pleasures, money, power, fame, name, recognition, etc.
- Low self-esteem, feeling not enough, not worthy, not valuable and associating our value and worthiness with things other than our Soul. That is, we depend our value on characteristics of body, mind and personality, money, status, work, success, family reputation, nationality, religion, parental status, etc.
These factors are correlated and interdependent and all have as their basis and cause the ego and the rajas and tamas Gunas and the ignorance of our true Self.
Due to these factors, we suffer from fear (in all its varieties, insecurity, anxiety, worries, agony, phobias, etc.), anger (in all its varieties, annoyance, dysthymia, frustration irritability, rage, hostility, wrath), depression, grief, feeling threatened, offended, hurt, separation, isolation, loneliness, boredom, discontentment, uneasiness, restlessness, hopelessness, hatred, jealousy, envy, shame, guilt, etc.
Our ego needs and wants (desires) from others pleasures, security, attention, acceptance, recognition, approval, affirmation and generally wants others to have a good image and opinion of us.
Because of it, we see others as a threat to our self-esteem, value, reputation, security, pleasures, comfort, etc., or as contributors to them. We like or dislike, love or hate others depending on whether they threaten (or we imagine it) our needs or help us to meet them.
We create relationships based on needs and desires and not on love. However, relationships are a great opportunity, a challenge and a university to know and work with ourselves and to free ourselves from limitations, programming and selfishness and develop our consciousness and unconditioned love.