SELF-OBSERVATION
& THE DISSOLUTION OF I’S
extracts from the book ''Treatise of Revolutionary Psychology' by SAmael Aun Weor'
Observation & self-obsevation
To observe and to self-observe
oneself are two completely different things; however, both demand attention.
When we observe through the windows
of the senses, our attention then is directed outwardly towards the external
word.
Yet, in self-observation, the senses
of external perception are worthless, because attention is directed inward.
Consequently, this is the factual reason why the self-observation of inner
psychological processes is difficult for the neophyte
Observation is a way to modify the
mechanical conditions of the world. Yet, internal self-observation is a way to
intimately change.
The type of knowledge that
transforms someone internally can never be achieved through external
observation.
The true knowledge that can really
originate in us a fundamental, internal change has as its basis direct self-
observation of oneself.
The outer world & the inner world
We find ourselves then before two
worlds, the external and the internal.
The first, the external, is
perceived by the senses of external perception. The second, the internal, can
only be perceived through the sense of internal self-observation.
Thoughts, ideas, emotions, longings,
hopes, disappointments, etc., are internal, invisible to the ordinary; common
and current senses. Yet, they are more real to us than the dining table or the
living room couch.
Indeed, we live in our internal
world more than in our external world. This is irrefutable, indisputable.
In our internal worlds, in our
secret world, we love, desire, suspect bless, curse, yearn, suffer, enjoy, we
are disappointed rewarded, etc.
Unquestionably the two worlds,
internal and external, are experimentally verifiable. The external world is the
observable. The internal world is in itself and inside oneself the
selfobservable, here and now.
The more we explore this internal
world called “myself,” the more we will comprehend that we simultaneously live
in two worlds, in two realities, in two confines: the external and the
internal.
In the same way that it is
indispensable for one to learn how to walk in the external world so as not to
fall down into a precipice or not get lost in the streets of the city or to
select one’s friends or not associate with the perverse ones or not eat poison,
etc.; likewise, through the psychological work upon oneself we learn how to
walk in the internal world, which is explorable only through self-observation.
Certainly, we can never know ourselves without serious
and profound self-observation.
When dealing with the discovery of
wrong psychological states, a complete intimate self-observation of the Myself
is unavoidable.
If one truly wants to know oneself,
one must then begin by observing his own conduct while facing the events of any
day of his life.
We do not want to imply by this that
one must not observe oneself daily. We only state that self-observation begins
with the first day that one starts observing oneself.
There must be a beginning in
everything; thus, to start by observing our conduct in any given day of our
life is a good beginning.
A single moment in which one is
sufficiently conscious as to stop being a machine, if it is done with will,
tends to radically modify many disagreeable circumstances.
Unfortunately, we live daily a
mechanical, routine and absurd life. We repeat
occurrences; our habits are the
same; we never want to modify them. They are the mechanical tracks on which
circulates the train of our miserable existence. Nevertheless, we think the
best of ourselves.
The illusion of doing
Indeed, we have the illusion of
doing; yet, we do nothing. Things happen to us. This is fatal, mechanical...
Our personality is merely the
instrument of different people, “I’s.” Each one of those persons (“I’s”)
fulfills its commitments through the personality.
Many things happen underneath our
cognitive capacity. Unfortunately, we ignore what happens underneath our
wretched reasoning.
We believe that we are wise when,
indeed, we do not even know that we do not know.
Self-observation & the many I’s
Indeed, when one wants to know
oneself, one must observe himself and try to know the different “I’s” which
abound inside the personality.
If any one of our readers does not
yet comprehend the doctrine of the many “I’s” it is due exclusively to the lack
of practice in the field of self observation.
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| Medusa symbolises the many I's |
As one practices inner self
observation, one discovers for oneself many people, many “I’s” who live inside
our own personality.
Those who deny the doctrine of the
many “I’s” those who adore a divine “I” have
undoubtedly never observed
themselves seriously.
Pointing at them, this time in a
Socratic style, we state that those people not only ignore, but more over, they
ignore that they ignore.
Those who reject the Doctrine of the
Many “I’s” are clearly demonstrating that they have never observed themselves
seriously.
The severe observation of the “myself” without subterfuges of any type, permits us to verify by ourselves the crude reality that we are not “one” but “many.”
Unquestionably, the illusion that
one is always one and the same person serves as a hidden obstacle for self
observation...
Whosoever accepts the Doctrine of
the Many “I” based on self-observation, comprehends that every desire, thought,
action, passion, etc., corresponds to this or that “I” meaning, to a distinct
or different “I”.
The observer & the observed
Whosoever works very seriously on
himself, as any athlete of inner Self-Observation, exerts upon himself the
effort to separate from his psyche the diverse undesirable elements which he
carries within...
Thus, if one truly and very
sincerely begins to observe oneself internally, one ends up dividing himself in
two: the Observer and the Observed.
If such a division is not produced,
it is then evident that we would never take a step forward in the marvelous
Pathway of Self Knowledge.
How can we observe ourselves if we
commit the error of not wanting to divide ourselves into Observer and the
Observed?
It is clear that only through inner
self-observation shall we be able to see the people (I’s) who live in our
psyche and who we need to eliminate in order to achieve a radical transformation.
This perception, this
self-observation, fundamentally alters all the mistaken concepts that we had
regarding ourselves; thus, as an outcome, we witness the concrete fact that we
do not possess true individuality.
Therefore, as long as we do not
observe ourselves, we will then live in the illusion that we are “one” and
consequently our life will be a mistake.
Any internal change demands the
previous elimination of the “I’s” that we carry within. We cannot by any means,
eliminate such “I’s” if we do not internally observe them.
In the work on oneself there does
not exist anything worthless. Any thought, however insignificant it might be
deserves to be observed. Any negative emotion, reaction, etc. must be observed.
Internal self-observation is a
practical means to achieve a radical transformation.
Differentiation of Knowing & observing
To know and to observe are
different. Many confuse the observation of oneself with knowing. For example,
even though we know that we are seated in a living room, this, however, does
not signify that we are observing the chair.
We know that at a given moment we
are in a negative state, perhaps with a problem, worried about this or that matter,
or in a state of distress or uncertainty, etc. This, however, does not mean
that we are observing the negative state.
Do you feel antipathy towards
someone?
Do you dislike a certain person? Why?
You may say that you know that
person... Please observe that person; to know is not the same as to observe! Do
not confuse knowing with observing...
The observation of oneself, which is
one hundred percent active, is a way to change oneself. However, knowing, which
is passive, is not a way to change oneself.
Indeed, knowing is not an act of
attention. Yet, the attention directed into oneself,
towards what is happening in our
interior, is something positive, active...
For instance, we may feel antipathy
towards a person, just because we feel like it and many times for no particular
reason. If we observe ourselves in such a moment we will notice the multitude
of thoughts that accumulate in our mind.
We will also notice the group of
voices that speak and scream in a disorderly manner and that say many things
within our mind, as well as the unpleasant emotions that surge in our interior
and the unpleasant taste that all this leaves in our psyche, etc.
But, unquestionably, in order to see
all of this, we need attention intentionally directed towards the interior of
our own selves. This is not a passive attention.
Indeed, dynamic attention proceeds
from the side of the observer, while thoughts and emotions belong to the side,
which is observed.
All of this causes us to comprehend
that knowing is something completely passive and mechanical, in evident
contrast with the observation of the self which is a conscious act.
Differentiation of thinking & observing
To think and to observe are also
very different. Any person can give himself the luxury of thinking about
himself all he wants; yet, this does not signify that he is truly observing himself.
We need to see the different “I’s”
in action, to discover them in our psyche, to
comprehend that a percentage of our
own consciousness exists within each one of them, to repent of having created
them, etc.
Then we shall exclaim: “But what is
this “I” doing?” “Is it saying?” “What does it want?” “Why does it torment me
with its lust, with its anger?” etc.
Then we will see within ourselves
the entire train of thoughts, emotions, desires,
passions, private comedies, personal
dramas, elaborated lies, discourses, excuses, morbidities, beds of pleasure,
scenes of lasciviousness, etc.
Many times before falling asleep, at
the precise instant of transition between vigil and sleep, we feel within our
own mind different voices that talk to each other. Those are the different “I’s”
that must in such moments break all connection with the different centers of
our organic machine, so as to then submerge themselves in the molecular world
within the Fifth Dimension.
Obviously, all self-observation
allows light to penetrate into ourselves within our inner depths.
No interior change can occur in our
psyche unless we allow the light of self-observation to penetrate.
Self-observation circumstances of life
It is indispensable to observe
oneself when alone in the same manner as when associated with people.
Very different “I’s,” very different
thoughts, negative emotions, etc. present themselves when one is alone.
One is not always in good company
when alone. It is just normal, very natural to be very badly accompanied when
in complete solitude. The most negative and dangerous “I’s” present themselves
when one is alone.
The worst circumstances of life, the
most critical situations, and the most difficult deeds are always marvelous for
intimate self-discovery.
The most secret “I’s” always surface
in those unsuspected, critical moments, and when we least expect them.
Unquestionably, if we are alert, we discover ourselves.
The most tranquil moments of life
are precisely the least favorable for the work upon oneself.
Moments in life exist which are too
complicated. In those moments we have the marked tendency of identify easily
with the events and completely forgetting about ourselves. In those instances,
we do foolish things, which lead nowhere. If, in those moments, we are alert,
if instead of losing our minds we remember our own selves, we then would discover
with astonishment certain “I’s” whose possibility of existence we never suspected
in the least.
Self-observation & self-discovery
The sense of intimate
self-observation is atrophied in every human being. Yet, such a sense will
develop in a progressive manner by working seriously, by observing oneself from
moment to moment.
Thus, as the sense of
self-observation gradually develops through its continuous use, we shall become
more capable each time of directly perceiving those “ whose existence we previously
never had the least bit of data about.
Indeed, while in the sight of the
sense of inner self- observation, each of those “I’s which inhabit our interior
assume this or that figure. This figure is secretly related to the defect that
is personified within it. Undoubtedly, the image of each of those “I’s has a
certain unmistakable psychological flavor. We, through this image,
instinctively apprehend, capture, trap its inner nature, and the defect, which
characterizes it.
The development of self-observation
Indeed, the sense of
self-observation is atrophied in this decadent human race of this tenebrous era
in which we live.
As we persevere in self-observation,
the sense of intimate self-observation will
progressively develop.
As the sense of intimate
self-observation develops in us, through its continuous use we can see all
those “I that serve as a basic foundation to our individual temperament, whether
it be sanguine or nervous, phlegmatic or bilious.
Although you may not believe it,
dear reader the fact is that behind the temperament that we possess, the most
remote profundities of our psyche, the most abominable diabolic creations are
hidden.
To see such creations, to observe
these monstrosities of hell within which our very same consciousness is
imprisoned, is only possible with the ever progressive development of the sense
of intimate self-observation.
The sense of intimate
self-observation allows us to verify for ourselves, and in a direct manner, the
secret work by which in a given time we are dissolving this or that “I” (this or
that psychological defect), possibly discovered in difficult conditions and
when we least suspect it.
Have you, sometime in your life,
ever thought of what you like or dislike the most? Have you reflected on the
secret causes of action?
Why do you want to have a beautiful
house?
Why do you desire the latest model
car?
Why do you want to always be wearing
the latest fashion?
Why do you covet not being covetous?
What offended you the most in a given
moment?
What flattered you the most
yesterday?
Why do you feel superior to this or
that fellow in a specific moment?
At what hour did you feel superior
to someone?
Why do you feel conceited when you
relate your triumphs?
Could not you keep quiet when they
gossiped about someone you know?
Did you receive the goblet of liquor
out of courtesy?
Did you accept smoking, although not
having the vice, possibly because of the concept of education or out of
manliness?
Are you sure that you were sincere
in your chatter?
And when you justify yourself, when
you praise yourself, when you boast about your triumphs and do so repeating
what you have previously told others, do you comprehend that you are vain?
Self-observation allows us to see our progress too
The sense of intimate self-observation, in addition
to allowing you to see clearly the “I” that you are dissolving, will also allow
you to see the pathetic and defined results of your internal Work.
In the beginning, these creations of
hell, these psychic aberrations that unfortunately characterize you, are more
ugly and monstrous than the most horrendous beasts that exist at the bottom of
the oceans or in the most profound jungles of the earth. Yet, as you advance in
your work, you will be able to evince through the sense of internal self-observation
the outstanding fact that those abominations lose bulk; they grow smaller.
It is intriguing to know that such
bestialities, as they decrease in size, as they lose bulk and become smaller,
they gain in beauty; they slowly assume a childlike figure. Finally, they
disintegrate; they become a cloud of cosmic dust. Then the imprisoned Essence
is liberated; it is emancipated; it awakens.
The dissolution of ego
Undoubtedly, the mind cannot
fundamentally alter any psychological defect.
Obviously the intellect can give
itself the luxury of naming a defect with this or that name, of justifying it,
or passing it from one level to another, etc. But it could not by itself
annihilate it, disintegrate it.
We urgently need a flaming power
superior to the mind, a power that by itself is capable of reducing this or
that psychological defect to a mere cloud o cosmic dust.
Fortunately there exists in us that
marvelous fire that the ancient medieval alchemists baptized with the
mysterious name of Stella Mans, the Virgin of the Sea, the Azoth of the Science
of Hermes, Tonantzin of Aztec Mexico, that derivative from our own intimate Being,
God-Mother within our interior, who is always symbolized with the sacred
serpent of the Great Mysteries.
If after having observed and
profoundly comprehended this or that psychological defect (this or that “I”),
we beg our individual cosmic Mother, since each of us has his own, to disintegrate,
to reduce to a cloud of cosmic dust this or that defect, that is, the “I,” the motive
of our interior work.
Then you can be sure that it will
lose mass and it will be slowly pulverized.
All of this naturally implies
successive deep works, always continuous, since no “I can ever be disintegrated
instantly. The sense of intimate self-observation will be able to see the progressive
advance of the work in relation with the abomination whose disintegration truly
interests us.
Our own derivative-Being, Tonantzin,
Stella Mans, as an electric power, is unknown to the entire humanity. Yet, she
abides latent in the depth of our psyche. Ostensibly, she enjoys the power that
permits her to decapitate any “I” before its final disintegration.
Stella Maris is that philosophical
fire that is found latent in all organic and inorganic matter.
Psychological impulses can provoke
the intensive action of such a fire and thendecapitation is made possible.
Some “I’s are usually decapitated at
the beginning of the psychological Work, others in the middle and the last ones
at the end. Stella Mans, as a sexual igneous power has full consciousness of
the work that must be performed. She performs the decapitation at the opportune
moment, at the appropriate instant.
As long as the disintegration of all
these psychological abominations, of all thislasciviousness, of all these curses:
robbery, envy, secret or manifest adultery ambition for money or psychic
powers, etc. has not been produced, even when we think ourselves honorable
persons, true to our word, sincere, courteous, charitable, beautiful in our interior,
etc., obviously, we are nothing more than whitened sepulchers, beautiful from outside,
yet full of disgusting filthiness inside.
Obviously, as long as one does not
work intensely on those “I that we carry within our interior, they will
continue to exist beneath the depth of our godly appearance and our upright
conduct.
Peace , Love, Harmony